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Me: So that’s how you work the Rapid Maxillary Expander appliance

Patient Dad: Fair enough. And how often do I have to do that?

Me: One turn every day, and I’ll check it again in 2 weeks

PD: But how’s that going to work?

Me: Well just turn it once a day, last thing at night is best.

PD: But he’s in boarding school.

Me: Oh.

Patient: Here, I’ll do it myself.

Me: Err, ok, you can have a go, but it can be diffic- oh. Fair play. You’re only the third person I’ve seen be able to do that for themselves.

There’s a phrase that comes up in training in medicine– I don’t know said it originally, or ...

"No, I'm not getting train track braces. Never. Never. Not ever. No. No. Mummy, stop smiling, mummy, stop smiling!!!!"